Spiritual Friendship-How to Save a Life
I was supposed to do a Jewish Sabbath on Friday, but life didn’t see this in the cards. I have a tendency to prepare myself for different services, to review and learn a little more about the congregation before attending. Since life happened on Friday and I missed the Sabbath, and since I had no church researched I thought I would take this opportunity to re-connect once again at WellSprings. The last time I had visited was the first of the year, and Ken wasn’t speaking at this one. Plus, after life happening on Friday, I thought it be best to surround myself with familiarity and friends and a chance to hear Ken speak.
The music is always that which makes me want to sing out loud. One of the first songs was “Help” by the Beatles. I find with the services that the songs are always well chosen for the sermon. The next song was “Bridge Over Troubled Water”, which always makes my heart cry. One of my fondest memories of this song is that of my friend singing at karaoke and me being his muse sitting next to him. I lost my friend a few years ago to a massive heart attack. At his funeral this song was on a continuous loop over and over and over again. I recalled the last time I saw him, he was always singing this song. This song and many others will safeguard his memory in my heart forever. We then sang “Energy”, which is one of those songs that could quite possibly get stuck in your head.
We then light the chalice and say the opening prayer together. Ken had commented that songs are not just to be sung, but they are to be lived. The energy seemed to be low keyed until Ken asked for a re-do of our good morning. Ken has a way of beginning at point A of a story and rounding it out in a way that is clever, entertaining and insightful. He was talking about his drive to the church on Sunday mornings and how he sets his car on cruise control. He can be going the desired speed for that of a highway driver, and then come upon a car who is going half his speed and he finds himself stepping on the brakes. He compares this to how we should do this in our own lives, sort of like taking inventory and slowing down and just being in the here and now. He then asks us to show our hospitality to those that are around us. It’s such a buzz when this happens. People are hugging and shaking hands, and there is such a sense of camaraderie within this church.
We then sit down and focus on the quote by Thict Naht Hahn, “If we want to enter heaven on earth it begins with one conscious step and one conscious breath.” Really, this is the God honest truth. I am finding a deeper sense of calm just going within myself, instead of always searching outside myself for some sort of mellow maker. If I take a deep breath and I take a conscious step, I find myself truly being within this life. We take our moments of silence, where I take this time to silence myself, my worries and my angst from the week that has just ended. We share our abundance with the church, and we sing a song once more before the sermon begins. It’s called “Swimming to the Other Side.” Some of us tend to think of Sperm swimming toward the egg of life when singing this song. In a way, when listening to the song you can almost imagine life emerging.
Ken’s talk this Sunday was on Spiritual Friendship and how to save a life. Again, he begins with a glimpse of his life and has a way of connecting it to all facets of her life, his life and my life. Ken is a die hard New York fan. He talks about the NY Giants big win at the super bowl, he talks about the NY Yankees and their wins. He then talks about the NY Nicks and their losses and how we as Philadelphia fans can sympathize with him. He talked about Jeremy Lin and Arne Duncan and the conversation that took place between the two of them. Ken stated that America is a lonely culture. How the majority of us Americans are hyper competitive and hyper comparative. He goes on to say that we all have utilized social networks. These networks are only glimpses of who we truly are. It shows but a tiny little fragment of who we really are. Renee Brown does these talks on Ted Talks about courage and vulnerability and shame. Ken advises to really check these out. Facebook is a way, amongst other social gatherings, in which people can make connections and see that the things they thought only happened to them also happen to others. That we are not alone in this world and someone out there always has it worse, and someone out there always has it better. Then he said it, the phrase that has been on my mind since he said it. “To whom can we show our shame?”
Quite honestly there are not many people I show my shame to. They may hear my oh woe is me tales, but my shame is something that can be hidden so deep down inside only those that are truly close to me are witness to it. The shame that makes me cry, makes all the guilt I have carried come pouring out, flooding from my eyes. At times, yes, I know that a majority of my shame is self induced, but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. He talked of the song Amazing Grace, and the lyrics to the song. Being lost then found, blind but now I see. He shared a story about his friend, a friend that was lost and was at his end. Ken talked to him until he was safe; he acted as a true friend would. Loneliness and shame has hit every one of us at some point. Making us feel so utterly alone, so totally lost. Though sometimes I think we take for granted that which is in our life. We feel it will always be there, and that if a friend or family member was this way we feel that they should come to us. We try to help each other, and those we love. Sometimes though, no matter how much love and support you give to someone, in the end this person may succeed in taking their own life. Listening to Ken about his eventual loss of his friend to suicide, makes me recall my uncle. My uncle was like my big brother. Whenever I had a problem, I could talk to him, share anything with him. You could say that I could dump all my shame on him, and not feel ashamed of myself. My uncle was never a model citizen, but nonetheless he was my uncle and one of the closest men in my life. He spent many years in prison, and when he was released somehow he always found his way back to imprisonment. He would call me, with loaded gun in hand and tell me he just couldn’t take it anymore. That he wanted to be with his mother, and that this life was not for him. I spent many hours talking with him, reiterating the fact that no matter who he thought he was, I loved him. One February though, he never called… and in listening to Ken talk, as much as it still hurts that he is gone; I know it is what he wanted. There was nothing I could have done, and there was no reason to carry the guilt of his death around with me.
Ken reminds us that none of us are superman; we can only truly control ourselves. He then shared a quote by Ram Dass, “we’re all just walking each other home.”
In the end, WellSprings is where I go to be embraced, encouraged and supported by friends. It is a place where I can show a little bit of my shame and not be judged by it. We ended with Mick Jagger’s “Shine a Light.” This pretty much sums it up for this week.
Things to Reflect On:
WellSprings Congregation
WellSprings Podcast of this service
Help-The Beatles
Bridge Over Troubled Water-Simon and Garfunkel
Energy
Swimming to the Other Side
Jeremy Lin and Arne Duncan
Amazing Grace
Superman
Ram Dass
Shine a Light
Brené Brown on TED Talks
http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html
Beautiful...Tiffany....just beautiful!
ReplyDeleteLisa C